Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

May He who is the Brahman of the Hindus the Ahura-Mazda of the Zoroastrians the Buddha of the Buddhists the Jehovah of the Jews the Father in Heaven of the Christians give strength to you to carry out your noble idea.

All of us in society are supposed to believe that cruelty to animals is wrong and that it is a good thing to prevent needless suffering. So if that is true how can meat be acceptable under any but the most extraordinary circumstances such as perhaps roasting the bird who died flying into a window?

We have got too many kids around the house to have a romantic meal at home. But Danielle is a fantastic cook. She does a brilliant lasagne great roasts and a great chilli dish. She knows the way to my heart.

I'm from Manchester Mass. so it was lobster lobster and more lobster! Also lots of fish that we caught in the summers clam chowder and roast beef sandwiches. But my mom was pretty healthy we had a lot of chicken and broccoli and rice as well.

My mom cooked pot roast with noodles and frozen vegetables. Or she'd make spaghetti or hot dogs, or heat up TV dinners. Before I started modeling at age 19, I was 5'8" and weighed 165 pounds.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

At home in L.A. Sunday is lazy. It's the wife and me lying in bed with coffee watching 'The Soup' or something funny on TiVo. The kid will occasionally join us. Eventually breakfast is at a place down the street called Paty's. And we always have some kind of great dinner - my wife makes a great roast beef.

People are roasting each other at parties at work events around the fire. It's so fun. People are busting each other's chops and it's a sign of affection truly. It's a true test of love and friendship: can you make a man laugh at himself? So what makes a good burn? Go after targets you love and respect. And hit 'em hard.