Tell the trial lawyers to get out of your state and to quit costing businessmen and women.

Protect IP (PIPA) and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) are a step towards a different kind of Internet. They are a step towards an Internet in which those with money and lawyers and access to power have a greater voice than those who don't.

Where there are too many policemen there is no liberty. Where there are too many soldiers there is no peace. Where there are too many lawyers there is no justice.

Nobody wants to read about the honest lawyer down the street who does real estate loans and wills. If you want to sell books you have to write about the interesting lawyers - the guys who steal all the money and take off. That's the fun stuff.

The only thing I like more than my wife is my money and I'm not about to lose that to her and her lawyers that's for damn sure.

I think that lawyers are terrible at admitting that they're wrong. And not just admitting it also realizing it. Most lawyers are very successful and they think that because they're making money and people think well of them they must be doing everything right.

Doctors are just the same as lawyers the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes we'd profit from them.

If the laws could speak for themselves they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.