I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing dance or tell jokes does he?

A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say if you look at the body of his work the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has.

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out practically.

I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I'm trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they're accessible to everyone.

I'm not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn't good at sports I wasn't good at anything artsy ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd.

I enjoy jokes smiling and making people smile. I may be a little different but that's OK who wants to be normal anyway?

It seems to me that romantic comedies used to be about falling in love but in recent years they've really become just comedies where the love story is only there as a spine to hang the jokes on.

I'm sure we the American people are the butt of jokes by those in power.

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow they remained funny the next day.