I have one yardstick by which I test every major problem - and that yardstick is: Is it good for America?

I had a stick of CareFree gum but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble but as soon as the gum lost its flavor I was back to pondering my mortality.

Where lipstick is concerned the important thing is not color but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67 and he's still as funny as he's ever been and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good because I feel like if I stick around long enough I'll still be able to work.

You know you can touch a stick of dynamite but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.

You know we don't have any decorative sprigs of rosemary we're not placing little matchstick radishes onto an hors d'oeuvre... The food's gotta taste good. The concept's gotta taste good.

A few years ago kids from poor areas in France were asked to draw items of food. For a chicken they drew a drumstick. For a fish they drew a fish stick. Those are extremes but there is a lot that needs to be done to help children discover good food.

Keep it simple in the kitchen. If you use quality ingredients you don't need anything fancy to make food delicious: just a knife a cutting board and some good nonstick cookware and you're set.

Start with a clean grill. Keep it clean by brushing with a wire brush after preheating and again after cooking. Make sure to oil your grates and your food before putting it on the grill to keep it from sticking.

When I tour I stuff fridges full of organic food and stick to that.