I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

Whenever a doctor cannot do good he must be kept from doing harm.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind the lawyer all the wickedness the theologian all the stupidity.

Doctors are just the same as lawyers the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.