When a man goes through six years training to be a doctor he will never be the same. He knows too much.

Growing up my dolls were doctors and on secret missions. I had Barbie Goes Rambo.

People are so afraid of authority figures and doctors are authority figures.

Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell.

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead.

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

In the name of Hypocrites doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.