I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum play a kazoo and sing 'Happy Birthday' to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and $1 tips.

Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It's the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don't like at work where you stop everything to sing 'Happy Birthday' to someone. I feel like that's for children.

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year but I used the wrong paper. See the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.

I binge when I'm happy. When everything is going really well every day is like I'm at a birthday party.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I was just doing my job in the ring and doing my best to make people happy.

You know the best thing about competition? There's this whole strategy game and when it all works out its like solving that hard math equation. You finally get the answer and you're so happy.

I find myself hoping a total end of all the unhappy divisions of mankind by party-spirit which at best is but the madness of many for the gain of a few.

Research has shown that the best way to be happy is to make each day happy.

If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.