It's funny when people say 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey if I don't like you you're going to know about it.

I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2 000 people.

I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling it becomes funny.

The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make weird funny comments. I can see in myself her self-deprecating hippie humour. I can't take myself too seriously.

Do I have a long-term plan? Kind of. I have a general direction I think. But it's funny what comes down the pike.

It's funny. You succeed but now where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves and I'm a professional funny guy.

Hollywood's just not funny.

A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is I've died so many times.