I question myself every day. That's what I still find motivating about this. I don't have the answers I don't pretend that I do just because I won the match. Just keep fighting and maybe something good happens.

If you pretend to be good the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny.

The key is just to ignore the pain because physical comedy only works if you see someone get hurt and they aren't actually hurt. If someone gets hit in the face with a bat falls down and gets back up it's funny. If they stay down and their jaw is wired shut in the next scene it's really tragic and weird. You have to pretend it doesn't hurt.

I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.

My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English.

I got attention by being funny at school pretending to be retarded and jumping around with a deformed hand.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I don't need to go onto Facebook and pretend to have friends I've never even met. To my mind that kind of destroys the meaning of the word 'friend.' I take exception to that. Because I value and respect friendship.