You can't trust politicians. It doesn't matter who makes a political speech. It's all lies - and it applies to any rock star who wants to make a political speech as well.

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

Will some reporter or some Republican on the Sunday shows please ask why tax cuts raid the non-existent Social Security Trust Fund but all the Democrats' new spending doesn't? Will someone please ask that?

A lot of people say that comedy doesn't travel well. I found it very accessible.

As a person I was born to give out my opinions. By giving out my opinions I realize who I am. As long as I can communicate I'm not so lonely. If I cannot travel or do art or have company if they take away all my belongings it doesn't matter at all.

Dealing with global warming doesn't mean we have all got to suddenly stop breathing. Dealing with global warming means that we have to stop waste and if you travel for no reason whatsoever that is a waste.

When I write stuff and I help cast it I turn away good people all the time. I may turn them down because this one's too tall and that one doesn't have a high enough voice or this one looks to old to match up with that one - there's a billion reasons not to hire somebody.

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters not how we left it.

I like Mitt Romney as a person. I think he's a dignified person. But I have no common ground on economics. He doesn't worry about the Federal Reserve. He doesn't worry about foreign policy. He doesn't talk about civil liberties so I would have a hard time to expect him to ever invite me to campaign with him.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.