I think if actors don't think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can't do comedy.

So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised.

It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central we can do any topic we want.

Some of the writers I admire who seem very very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind as does David Sedaris. When they write the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend.

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves and I'm a professional funny guy.

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics that action and reaction are equal and opposite that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

Here's a news flash: No soldier gives his life. That's not the way it works. Most soldiers who make a conscious decision to place themselves in harm's way do it to protect their buddies. They do it because of the bonds of friendship - and it goes so much deeper than friendship.

It will give them the opportunity to show themselves worthy of the respect and friendship of peace-loving nations and in time to take an honorable place among members of the United Nations.

The rare few who early in life have rid themselves of the friendship of the many.