If I am still doing what I'm doing and I still have respect in this town haven't done anything completely and utterly stupid then I'll be happy with myself.

I haven't had an orthodox career and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it but this time I feel it and I can't deny the fact that you like me right now you like me!

People still kill in the name of religion. We haven't evolved to the point where we're one tribe called humans.

Haven't two hundred years of failed missionary work overseas taught anybody anything? You can't convert people to anything - whether religion or something as inane as our flicks.

What the feminists want of me is something they haven't examined because it comes from religion. They want me to bear witness.

If I'm in a relationship I'm 1 000% in it. I love doing things for them and surprising them. And that's just something I thoroughly enjoy and it gives me a lot of pleasure. I just haven't found that right girl yet.

It's one thing to have a relationship to lay your hands on it and another to make it continue and last. That's something I haven't talked about much in my comic strips and it's certainly something I'm interested in.

But you cannot expect every writer to dwell on human suffering. I think my books do deal with grave issues. People who say they are too positive probably haven't read them.

The positive news is that the British economy is continuing to grow and is creating jobs. And it is positive news too that at a time of real international instability we are a safe haven in the storm.

Every week I read about myself in a magazine about something that I haven't done or some place that I've never been or don't even know. It's just gossip rumors egos and politics.