You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me.

I think the pattern of my essays is A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.

A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back it comes back up like gangbusters.

Everything is funny as long as it's happening to somebody else.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

I've got some great guy friends. They can start out as crushes. But when you realize something isn't going to happen you make a choice whether or not the friendship is worth it. And it usually is. Then you can laugh about the fact that you used to have a crush on him or he had one on you.

It may happen sometimes that a long debate becomes the cause of a longer friendship. Commonly those who dispute with one another at last agree.

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.