My first outdoor cooking memories are full of erratic British summers Dad swearing at a barbecue that he couldn't put together and eventually eating charred sausages feeling brilliant.

As a father now I wouldn't do what my dad did because it left me feeling emotionally unstable as a kid. But he didn't do the things he did out of selfishness or malice.

I mean I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.

I get that same queasy nervous thrilling feeling every time I go to work. That's never worn off since I was 12 years-old with my dad's 8-millimeter movie camera.

I'm not sure what the future holds but I do know that I'm going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. As my dad said 'Nic it is what it is it's not what it should have been not what it could have been it is what it is.'

Cowardice and courage are never without a measure of affectation. Nor is love. Feelings are never true. They play with their mirrors.

I am kind of a private person so I don't miss that part of show business at all. Looking back on my career in television and making a movie like 'The Sound of Music' from an adult point of view it actually seems kind of unreal. I was involved in shows that people grew up with - that hold memories for them - and it's a cool feeling.

In my mind as long as I did what was right for me I was cool. But that's not the way it works. You have to think about other people and take their feelings into account.

I have the ability to sing with emotion and feeling but if you say I sound like Billie Holiday that's cool. Let's look at who Billie was: she was this person this singer this beautiful diva who could move the audience with the slightest gesture of her hand.

It is a weird feeling to have people go 'Hey Chris' like they know me. But number one 99 percent of my experiences have been really cool. People couldn't be nicer and more positive.