Getting through the nights is the toughest part. Being alone. Not having her there to talk to.
Early on if I was alone two three nights in a row I'd start writing poems about suicide.
Gardening is not trivial. If you believe that it is closely examine why you feel that way. You may discover that this attitude has been forced upon you by mass media and the crass culture it creates and maintains. The fact is gardening is just the opposite - it is or should be a central basic expression of human life.