Man has made use of his intelligence he invented stupidity.

Perhaps naively I thought people understand what humor was that it was invented by the human race to cope with the dark areas of life problems and terrors.

But it was this tough little character part that I was playing a very funny little guy that I invented over a weekend because I realized I was not contributing to the humor of this thing. And I had to do something.

Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books I'm consistently impressed with their wit humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented.

I have often said that I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular the most practical the most relaxed and nonchalant. They have expression modesty sex appeal simplicity - all I hope for in my clothes.

But inspiration? - That's when you come home from abroad and are asked: Well have you found inspiration? - and fortunately you haven't. But the impressions sink in of course and may emerge later: None of us has invented the house that was done many thousands of years ago.

Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.

If you take a look at history you will find that the understanding of what is good and evil has always existed before the individual religions. The religions were only invented by people afterwards in order to express this idea.

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it.

I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I'd invented it because it is very true.