I actually was class clown but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

I've dated some women who have turned me on to some funny things that are strange for men to actually do but these things have become part of my process. I think the things I do for my appearance help make me look better. I even colour my hair because I like how it makes me look.

The key is just to ignore the pain because physical comedy only works if you see someone get hurt and they aren't actually hurt. If someone gets hit in the face with a bat falls down and gets back up it's funny. If they stay down and their jaw is wired shut in the next scene it's really tragic and weird. You have to pretend it doesn't hurt.

I actually find novels that are determined to be funny at every turn quite oppressive.

It's funny I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up.

Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass quippy funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar.

I don't hate humanity and I'm not interested in people who do. Although it's funny actually some of my favorite writers really do. Like Martin Amis. My dirty secret. 'London Fields' is one of my favorite books ever. And it's indefensible! But he's so funny... I forgive him everything.

I've thought for the last decade or so the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages and had the ability to make it all funny entertaining and pertinent.

Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind like a mild disability some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.