For as long as this nation has known war we have embraced the heroes it has produced. Americans have rightfully noted the honor and nobility of courage under hostile fire and thanked those who perished in their defense.

I want to thank the Academy for its courage and generosity.

I don't think I really know just how cool Satan really was when I was in Junior High School. Now thanks to Marilyn Manson it's no longer a secret.

The truth is - I found myself doing these huge action-adventure movies and um and which are cool man. And I really love doing them. And thankfully I haven't had too much dialogue because if I had I would have really made a mess of it. You know what I mean?

And we have a little herb garden which survived the winter thanks to global warming. It makes me feel like a cool old Italian housewife that I kept my rosemary alive outside all winter.

I get heartfelt thanks from all kinds of people. Today I heard from a waitress in Georgia who has lost her job and is trying to figure out how her local bank can change the terms on her credit card and I heard from a physicist at a major research university who wants to explain a better theory of financial stress tests.

I wouldn't change anything. I've made mistakes but thanks to those mistakes I've learned.

All the times being like 'Who rented this car and why are we going to this place?' You take the easy route and go 'Oh thanks for the champagne. I'll have another.'

When I climb into my car I enter my destination into a GPS device whose spatial memory supplants my own. I have photographs to store the images I want to remember books to store knowledge and now thanks to Google I rarely have to remember anything more than the right set of search terms to access humankind's collective memory.

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house your car your boat your safety deposit box your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order sanity and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'