The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67 and he's still as funny as he's ever been and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good because I feel like if I stick around long enough I'll still be able to work.

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny or you ain't.

We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Leno Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965 I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

To me what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.

I think when you do comedy you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny.