As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement your financial security for anything. If you do you're screwed.

It's funny I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

To enjoy being famous you need to have a screw loose.

We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions that we'll screw up royally sometimes - understanding that failure is not the opposite of success it's part of success.

I've probably earned the right to screw up a few times. I don't want the fear of failure to stop me from doing what I really care about.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own so both of them together is certain death.

My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

I am regularly asked what the average Internet user can do to ensure his security. My first answer is usually 'Nothing you're screwed'.

If I start outsourcing all my navigation to a little talking box in my car I'm sort of screwed. I'm going to lose my car in the parking lot every single time.