A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

Forgive O Lord my little jokes on Thee and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Sometimes we have to actually say I think you're really funny but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

When I turned about 12 or 13 I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well so they're not funny. I end up saying 'Oh no I'm joking I'm joking.'

Sometimes comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them because I get the joke right but I can't get the character right and it just goes down like a lead balloon.

If you think something's funny go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.

Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny but working with him I found him to be a very serious man. Whereas the films of Hitchcock are macabre he could be a very funny man to work with always telling jokes and holding court. Of course when I worked with Charlie he was getting older.