The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor I'm just gonna tell her 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you they can't really fire you and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.

Ray Bradbury is for many reasons the most influential writer in my life. Throughout our long friendship Ray supplied not only his terrific stories but a grand model of what a writer could be should be and yet rarely is: brilliant and charming and accessible willing to tolerate and to teach happy to inspire but also to be inspired.

When Ted Williams was here inducted into the Hall of Fame 37 years ago he said he must have earned it because he didn't win it because of his friendship with the writers. I guess in that way I'm proud to be in this company that way.

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time being a cartoon gives the writers more freedom than in a normal sitcom. It always pushes the line that despite human failings the Simpsons are really decent people.

A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom.

Who is more to be pitied a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?

The things the writers have me doing on 'Suburgatory' are insane. I think they think it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

I do not know that any writer has supposed that on this earth man will ultimately be able to live without food.