I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

I swear by that old expression 'One monkey don't stop no show!' The reality is we still have some good men out there and we should hail those men as the kings they are.

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood who were funny without swearing were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.

Madam I have been looking for a person who disliked gravy all my life let us swear eternal friendship.

I swear I want to be a food model.

My first outdoor cooking memories are full of erratic British summers Dad swearing at a barbecue that he couldn't put together and eventually eating charred sausages feeling brilliant.

I'm not going chic I swear. The geek endures. But I mean a snazzy cool suit looks good.

Swearing is industry language. For as long as we're alive it's not going to change. You've got to be boisterous to get results.

There is the good and the bad the great and the low the just and the unjust. I swear to you that all that will never change.

The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh I was proud.