I have sometimes been wildly despairingly acutely miserable racked with sorrow but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple it's just gone like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers.

No society can surely be flourishing and happy of which the far greater part of the members are poor and miserable.

Even if you're unhappy just pretend that you're happy. Eventually your smile will be contagious to yourself. I had to learn that. I used to think 'I'm being fake ' but you know what? Better to be fake and happy than real and miserable.

But I'm not like sad depressed miserable person. I guess sometimes I give off that impression.

You won't find me in a romantic comedy. Those movies don't speak to me. People don't come to talk to me about those scripts because they probably think I'm this dark twisted miserable person.

The trouble with many men is that they have got just enough religion to make them miserable. If there is not joy in religion you have got a leak in your religion.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

The superior power of population cannot be checked without producing misery or vice.

The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.