I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

I cannot sing dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host.

My father would take me to the playground and put me on mood swings.

If God wanted us to fly He would have given us tickets.

Marriage is a wonderful institution but who would want to live in an institution?

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.