It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way that is being drunk and being the father of their son.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?

As I get older all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

To succeed in life you need three things: a wishbone a backbone and a funny bone.

If I studied all my life I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.

From there to here and here to there funny things are everywhere.

I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things and I have succeeded fairly well.

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.