I told my father I wanted to play the banjo and so he saved the money and got ready to give me a banjo for my next birthday and between that time and my birthday I lost interest in the banjo and was playing guitar.

Since graduation I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement interview reading flight doctor's appointment birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops.

Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

The best way to begin genuine bipartisanship to make America stronger is to work together on the real crises facing our country not to manufacture an artificial crisis to serve a special interest agenda out of touch with the needs of Americans.

The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2 000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.

If I am a cup maker I'm interested in making the best cup I possibly can. My effort goes into that cup not what people think about it.

The splinter in your eye is the best magnifying-glass.

While I relish our warm months winter forms our character and brings out our best.

The best books for a man are not always those which the wise recommend but often those which meet the peculiar wants the natural thirst of his mind and therefore awaken interest and rivet thought.