Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable.

Humor is very very risky particularly for a candidate unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it.

A pun is the lowest form of humor unless you thought of it yourself.

Unless our conception of patriotism is progressive it cannot hope to embody the real affection and the real interest of the nation.

He's a good tough producer yes. But I don't think that he's unreasonable unless he feels threatened. And when somebody's in your home I think everybody in the home gets threatened.

Unless you have been to boarding-school when you are very young it is absolutely impossible to appreciate the delights of living at home.

The appreciative smile the chuckle the soundless mirth so important to the success of comedy cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

History shows that where ethics and economics come in conflict victory is always with economics. Vested interests have never been known to have willingly divested themselves unless there was sufficient force to compel them.

Something as curious as the monarchy won't survive unless you take account of people's attitudes. After all if people don't want it they won't have it.