Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.

My sensei was a British karate champion named Brian Fitkin. He was my mentor and because I had a hard relationship with my dad he became a father figure to me.

I had my footballing heroes such as Bryan Robson and Diego Maradona but my dad was a rugby league star and he was my real hero. But the relationship with my mum was rocky and we saw things that would affect any youngster.

I always wanted to be a father. I have a beautiful relationship with my dad and beautiful memories. I always knew I was going to have a family.

My life isn't that dramatic. My dad really loves me he just can't talk on the phone. He's too crippled and shy and that's almost harder. He's there and he loves me and I try and try and try it's just impossible to have a relationship.

It would be nice if I did have a good relationship with my family and yes part of me longs to have a mum and dad who love and accept me for who I am. But if they never do it's OK.

Mom was the one who taught me unconditional love. With Dad I'd always felt there was something to live up to - expectations. But in the last year we had a wonderful relationship.

My dad's gay experiences really had a very positive influence on me and my straight relationships - how to better accept all the weirdness and ambiguity and ups and downs and paradoxes. I knew from the beginning I was writing about love.

We busted a lot of family secrets with this. But to make a long story short my parents relationship was built heavily on security issues for my Mom and when my Dad couldn't provide security the relationship unraveled.