Coming through the fire and through the storm of life with a strong man my fiance Ashanti whom I've been dating for eight months and two wonderful children beside me I'm just so happy that I have been able to maintain my integrity and get to where I am today with the right energy around me.

You show your vulnerability through relationships and those feelings are your soft spot. You need to have a soft spot.

Usually a family is led through the mom or the dad and their career and for the family to be led by my career even though God has led it could be a lot of pressure.

My dad passed away before my freshman year and it altered how I thought. I was depressed - I didn't hang out with my friends. I worked through it by dancing.

Every family is different. I am mom and I am dad and I'm going to do my best. You should be proud walk through life saying I have the coolest family. I am part of a modern family.

Growing up I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while and that was to help me get through school.

Going through the grief period of my dad and losing him - that was the worst thing because you know when you get that call. When you are seven eight years old you have that almost vision in your mind of what that's going to be like and what your going to feel like and it doesn't prepare you.

On the one hand I've had such a normal upbringing with my mum who has kept me grounded but on the other the wild experiences through my dad.

As it has been told to me my Dad had some kind of deal with Dick Clark. But when we got here that fell through. So we were out here with no job no furniture no food.

From time to time I'll look back through the personal journals I've scribbled in throughout my life the keepers of my raw thoughts and emotions. The words poured forth after my dad died when I went through a divorce and after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. There are so many what-ifs scribbled on those pages.