Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying.

When you have shot one bird flying you have shot all birds flying. They are all different and they fly in different ways but the sensation is the same and the last one is as good as the first.

The rulers of the state are the only persons who ought to have the privilege of lying either at home or abroad they may be allowed to lie for the good of the state.

When my job was attempting to predict future economic developments for the Shell oil company I was frequently reminded of an Arabic saying: 'Those who claim to foresee the future are lying even if by chance they are later proved right.'

At home in L.A. Sunday is lazy. It's the wife and me lying in bed with coffee watching 'The Soup' or something funny on TiVo. The kid will occasionally join us. Eventually breakfast is at a place down the street called Paty's. And we always have some kind of great dinner - my wife makes a great roast beef.

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

The rule of friendship means there should be mutual sympathy between them each supplying what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other always using friendly and sincere words.

When I went off to the army when I was 17 years old I believed in America and the rights of freedom. But today I believe my government is lying to the American people and that my president George Bush is a criminal.

But it wasn't until I graduated from Texas A & M University and joined the United States Air Force flying C-130's all around the globe that I truly appreciated the blessings of freedom.