The worst gift that I ever gave a girl was a suitcase for Christmas. As in 'I can't think of anything to give you but here's a new suitcase.' Afterward I was like 'What were you thinking idiot?'

The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.

Memory is not wisdom idiots can by rote repeat volumes. Yet what is wisdom without memory?

There's obviously nothing wrong with selling your art - only an idiot with a trust fund would tell you otherwise. But it's confusing to know how far you should take it.

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people no matter how hard it is will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.

I've had great success being a total idiot.

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

Galileo was no idiot. Only an idiot could believe that science requires martyrdom - that may be necessary in religion but in time a scientific result will establish itself.

If we tried to write about politics you'd realize that we're all a bunch of idiots.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.