I had a stick of CareFree gum but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I...
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
I wear a necklace cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're...
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for...
For me the highest level of sexual excitement is in a monogamous relationship.
