In the history of the treatment of depression there was the dunking stool purging of the bowels of black bile hoses attempts to shock the patient. All of these represent hatred or aggression towards what depression represents in the patient.
My fear is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say 'I'm sorry but I've got to say hello to you ' and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away saying 'Not for me Bub. I don't want anything to do with you.'
After my second-to-last record 'The Greatest' I had gone on tour for a while and I didn't play an instrument for about five years. And I got kind of - it's not self-esteem or whatever or anger toward myself - but disappointed in myself that I hadn't been challenging myself to learn musically.