My mother smokes me out. We'll get these long periods of me thinking I'm too busy to call her up or e-mail her and she'll send me something. My mom's a real whiner. I love her to death but she always sends me these 'woe is me' things. I think she might be Jewish. I'm not sure. She's Baptist-Jewish which is a double whammy.

Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose head John Conyers says he doesn't understand it. It'll be passed by Congress that has not read it signed by a president who smokes funded by a Treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes overseen by a Surgeon General who is obese and financed by a country that's nearly broke. What could possibly go wrong?