A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors young and old seem to be afflicted by android Barbie creep. All those thick swatches of lifeless strands clustering lankly round ladies' necks! Like orange tanning spray this is a fashion fad that should be put out of its misery.

With women I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

As though there were a tie And obligation to posterity. We get them bear them breed and nurse: What has posterity done for us. That we lest they their rights should lose Should trust our necks to gripe of noose?

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth follow only beauty and obey only love.