Haven't two hundred years of failed missionary work overseas taught anybody anything? You can't convert people to anything - whether religion or something as inane as our flicks.

Movies for adults sucked in the 1980s and music for adults sucked even worse whether we're talking about Kathleen Turner flicks or Sting albums the decade's non-teen culture has no staying power at all.

'American Horror' goes for a very specific kind of Seventies suburban downer ambience - 'Flowers in the Attic' paperbacks Black Sabbath album covers and late-night flicks like 'Let's Scare Jessica to Death.' It even has 'Go Ask Alice'-era urban legends.