My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
I was quite able at the insignificant work I did in MI6 but absolutely dysfunctional in my domestic life. I had no experience of fatherhood. I had no example of marital bliss or the family unit.
I had no expectations about fatherhood really but it's definitely a journey I'm glad to be taking. Number one it's a great learning experience. When my mother told me it's a 24/7 job she wasn't kidding.
And in that time I lost my dad and had kids of my own. It was like OK I get it now. I know what fatherhood is all about. And you look at your parents differently.
The surprising thing about fatherhood was finding my inner mush. Now I want to share it with the world.
Fatherhood is the most amazing thing that could ever have happened in my life.
Older fatherhood isn't all bad: testosterone rates drop about 1% per year as men age making them less reactive and more patient and a professionally established middle-aged man is likely to have more time and money to devote to his kids than a twenty-something who's just getting started.
At my age you don't go into fatherhood lightly.