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A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors young and old seem to be afflicted by android Barbie creep. All those thick swatches of lifeless strands clustering lankly round ladies' necks! Like orange tanning spray this is a fashion fad that should be put out of its misery.

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I once had a boyfriend who couldn't write unless he was wearing a necktie and a dress shirt which I thought was really weird because this was a long time ago and no one I knew ever wore dress shirts let alone neckties it was like he was a grown-up reenacter or something.