Democrats always like to brag that their guys are smarter than the opponents and Republicans always like to brag that their guys are more moral than the opponents. But if you're looking for morals in politics you're looking for bananas in the cheese department.

I'm a better person in a relationship and I'm a happier person. I need to come home at the end of the day and have it not be about me and my freaking hair and makeup and character motivations anymore. And I think my work is more inspired when home is safe and sound and solid because what I do for a living is so bananas and so insecure.

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him 'At my age I don't even buy green bananas.'