I have an internal protectiveness where it's like if it comes to just me as frightened as I am of losing someone I love or things going sour or simply being alone there is a dark place in my brain where I'm like It could happen and I'm okay I'm prepared.
The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
We don't accomplish anything in this world alone... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads form one to another that creates something.
Success comes when people act together failure tends to happen alone.
Some of my foster families used to send me to the movies to get me out of the house and there I'd sit all day and way into the night. Up in front there with the screen so big a little kid all alone and I loved it. I loved anything that moved up there and I didn't miss anything that happened and there was no popcorn either.
It's getting better generally daily especially in TV for women in acting and age and looks count less. As more women come into the business. Change of any sort takes a long time to happen.
I have worked very hard on being aware of my childhood but moving forward and not letting it bring me down emotionally. That is a hard thing - especially when you have children of your own and you remember what happened to you at that age.
Even in this day and age if you're not married there are people who are like 'Awww! Don't worry it'll happen for you someday.'
Almost all of your life is lived by the seat of your pants one unexpected event crashing into another with no pattern or reason and then you finally reach a point around my age where you spend more time than ever looking back. Why did this happen? Look where that led? You see the shape of things.
I've watched my peers get better with age and hoped that would happen with me.