To this day I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor makes him attractive. On the other hand you don't hear men saying 'No she's not pretty but is she ever funny!'

Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying 'You had to be there.'

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10 000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you that it's about the people who are nominated and respect that but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.

It is not funny that anything else should fall down only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks they are always locking three.

I noticed that no matter where I went in the country there was this group of questions that got asked. I would track them and keep them in categories. Like body image school family friendship you name it the emotional life of a teenage girl.

No matter what message you are about to deliver somewhere whether it is holding out a hand of friendship or making clear that you disapprove of something is the fact that the person sitting across the table is a human being so the goal is to always establish common ground.

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

Freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter mush. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order.