The TUC's new slogan 'a future that works' sets a profound challenge. Austerity and rapid deficit reduction is failing in its own terms but even at its best it is short-sighted muddle-through politics with no vision of a new economic model.

The idea of going on tour for the rest of my life with old works is not that exciting. As an artist I definitely think the work in future is going to be better than the work in the past otherwise why do it?

Here is what we know after more than a decade of Republican rule: Texas works. Even 'The New York Times' let it slip into its pages that 'Texas is the future.'

Most people should be talking about how Floyd Mayweather is a great undefeated future Hall of Famer that's his own promoter and that works extremely hard to get to where he's at. Instead all you hear is hate and jealous remarks from critics who criticize me and you know most of the time the people that criticize me can't do what I can do.

I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me have all fallen during a man repeller stage... funny how life works out like that.

I think the Cold War works as a great analogy or simile for different kinds of conflict. It's funny when you look back at it it's one of the last times that the boundaries were clear. Now as we see on 'Homeland ' there are no clear boundaries and enemies.

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

The key is just to ignore the pain because physical comedy only works if you see someone get hurt and they aren't actually hurt. If someone gets hit in the face with a bat falls down and gets back up it's funny. If they stay down and their jaw is wired shut in the next scene it's really tragic and weird. You have to pretend it doesn't hurt.

Twitter to me works if you're funny. Twitter doesn't work as a promotional tool unless you do it very very very occasionally.

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.