We cannot turn the clock back nor can we undo the harm caused but we have the power to determine the future and to ensure that what happened never happens again.

Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying 'You had to be there.'

The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.

I actually was class clown but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person.

I actually was class clown but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.

And at the time it is funny how you can look at something and say for example with my shoulder injury when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me.

It sounds funny but the 2008 Olympics were something that just kind of happened and I was lucky they came at a point when I was uninjured and well prepared. As a gymnast you can't ask for much more.

It's funny with fiction - once you cut something it hasn't happened anymore.

I think the pattern of my essays is A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake.