My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop.

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I'm afraid that this is me getting on my high horse now but we have yob television yob newspapers and funny enough whereas it was my mum and dad school police church who used to set the standards now it's tabloids and yob television who set the standards by which people live.