I always envisioned myself being a rapper and being in the game and having success but you never know what it feels like or how you're going to be when you're there.

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Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.