With success came an ever-growing burden of responsibility. I lived with a near-constant low-level anxiety that I would make a mistake that would not only threaten my career but also my brothers' - not to mention the livelihoods of many people who work with us or for us.

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Grief is a bad moon a sleeper wave. It's like having an inner combatant a saboteur who at the slightest change in the sunlight or at the first notes of a jingle for a dog food commercial will flick the memory switch bringing tears to your eyes.