We have to understand how the extremists got the way they are. Without that kind of understanding we'd never really get to know them. I put in nothing about their childhoods. But what I have put in is stuff about the weird symbiotic relationship between us and them.

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I'd say that if you had a strained relationship with your mom for whatever reason the best thing to do is be open with each other talk it over try and work it out somehow as opposed to just putting a wall up and pushing them away.