When you get just a complete sense of blackness or void ahead of you that somehow the future looks an impossible place to be and the direction you are going seems to have no purpose there is this word despair which is a very awful thing to feel.

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I think when I'm in love I really am very good with calling little faxes and visiting and I really put a lot of effort into it. I'm really not the one that's not available because of work and I'm very sad when I actually leave.