I would say that the war correspondent gets more drinks more girls better pay and greater freedom than the soldier but at this stage of the game having the freedom to choose his spot and being allowed to be a coward and not be executed for it is his torture.

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Well yeah. At a certain point you've got to be really honest with yourself. Like 'Why am I doing this? What are my motivations?' Like if you get into it because you want to be famous? Then you've got a long row to hoe. But if you really feel like it's a labour of love and it's something you're actually legitimately good at then it's not that hard to keep plugging away.